The Many Layers of Self Care

"When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy, care 

enough about yourself to make room for it in your life."   

Jean Shinoda Bolen

Hi all! Hope you had a great week. Maybe created some goals, exercised this week, took a bubble bath, had coffee or tea with a friend…In order to take care of ourselves wholly we need to allow for self-care in ALL the areas of our lives. When I think of my life this way, I easily see the need to create a plan for self-care for myself professionally, physically, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, as well as in my relationships.

Professionally, I have been doing some research on new trainings I would like to go to because I love to learn. The more I learn, more full joyful I feel. So, I find myself doing a lot of reading even when I’m not at work. Are there things about your professional life that you would like to see blossom?

Physical goals for self-care can mean so many things. It can mean taking that walk outside despite the cold by just putting on a hat and scarf, going to bed an hour earlier so that you can feel more refreshed in the morning, trading in your soda for some green tea for filling up that water bottle.

Psychological self-care might be as simple as taking a mental health day I need the day off. I am sure that this might sound a lot easier said than done. I know, you might have a pile of work sitting on your desk waiting for you. The bottom line is you well worth the downtime. And that playing hooky for one day maybe just the medicine you need to plow through that pile of work next week.

Emotional self-care me be one of the most important of all. We are social beings and Covid 19 has made it very clear to us how difficult it is been to be separate from one another. So many people have spoken about feeling lonely, depressed, anxious, and more agitated and in times past. Reaching out to friends whether it is by phone, FaceTime resume might be just what you need to have some connection and great conversation with a friend. Now, there is nothing, and I repeat nothing, like a hug from someone you care about, but if you can’t do that right now, make sure you still maintain the connections with the people you care about.

Spiritual self-care activities are really things that can connect us to our higher self and even connect us to the earth in nature. So some great ways to be able to do this might be meditation, reflective journaling, yoga, going to a place of warship, going barefoot I’m walking on the earth being any place out in nature.

Is there one area of your life that you think means more of your attention for self-care than the others? What is something that you can do this week nurture that area?

Self Care From Scratch

 “An empty lantern provides no light.  Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.” --Unknown 

I have been talking to friends and clients and even reading on Facebook about people I know, waking up tired, dragging themselves through the workday, trying to squeeze in a workout, rushing through dinner, then running through a shower and then watching television before bed and calling that relaxation. The struggle seems to be trying to balance an endless list of priorities that run into each other throughout the day without so much as a breath in between. We may be tired and overwhelmed but all too often the bigger problem is that we don’t know where to start in creating self-care rituals for ourselves. I think it’s time to create some self-care rituals from scratch. How about you?

First, I don’t want to discount how busy our lives are. We step up to life‘s buffet and pile it mile high with things to do. The worst part is that we have a difficult time deciphering which are priorities.

Step 1 — Decide what priorities and goals we have for the week that we would like to address. What are the things are the most important to us? How do you decide what things are the most important to you? You might begin by thinking about how you will feel when some of these priorities are completed. If it is a work goal, what might you feel like when you complete that project, hand in that paper, talk to your boss about that raise? Then we can move on to our self care. Well, what are the things that light you up? Make you smile? Make you lose track of time? Bring you utter joy?

Step 2 — Set aside some time in your calendar – just like a date – to fit in some of these activities. You might have to think about it in the same way that you set aside time for a friend who is in need, on lunch with your mom, a work project, or doing homework with your kid. We usually set aside time for other people with ease but don’t easily set aside time for ourselves in the same way. I’ve learned that blocking this time on your calendar noting it as an appointment has worked for me.

Step 3 — Find a self care buddy to help hold yourself accountable. If you tell a friend about your goals and ask for help in holding you accountable, you’ll be more likely to stay on track. Do you ever noticed that when you say something out loud it makes it more real?

Step 4 — Think about what’s worked for you in the past. If there are times when you remember maintaining healthy self care for yourself in a particular area, think about how do you maintained that’s self-care - maybe it was exercising with a friend, bringing your journal every place you went so that it was readily available, setting an alarm or reminder so that you went to bed on time, etc. Once we identify what worked for us in the past we might be able to pick up those same patterns again.

Step 5 — Review how you’ve done over the course of the week. You’ll be able to see where you need to make changes and where you’ve done phenomenally over the course of the week.

Do you have any self care goals this year?? I’d love to support you! 

WALKING MY TALK

Taking care of myself doesn't mean "me first" it means "me too."  - L.R. Knosts

It seems like for ions now I have been trying to get a handle on being mindful, breathing, having gratitude, focusing my mind, etc. I’ve had weeks where I have been dedicated to my meditation and yoga practice and others where my practice and I have been strangers. If my walls could talk I often fear that they would call me a fraud. They know that in my day to day I am completely and thoroughly dedicated to trying to create a life it is genuine and restful and full of self-care, buuuuuuut it also sees that when I have returned home from a full workday, I often give up on those goals giving in to utter exhaustion instead. So, what’s the answer? I guess I have to remind myself the same way I remind others that you cannot run yourself ragged working 50 weeks a year, so that you can save yourself for those two weeks of precious vacation. We need to establish a life that reflects self-respect, self-care, and an ability to recover from the rigors of any daily job within the confines of a week. I know that I need to do a better job establishing healthy boundaries during the day – allowing myself time for breaks and rest and lunch and time to speak to coworkers or make a call to someone I care about. We need to see ourselves as worthy of these small and yet monumental ways of fueling our lives so that we cannot only perform better in our lives but also so that we are able to continue to do more than just trudge through each day. I want to live with intention! To blossom. To follow my passions and enjoy life with a sense of play. The new year always presents for me a new slate clean and crisp - free of some of the mistakes I may have made the year before. Each year I try to build new skills, new routines and add to my repertoire of things that will make me healthier and a more balanced woman.  2020 was a tough year that threw many of us off our game.  It's time I do a better job of walking my talk.  Join me! I call on all of you to add in some self care to your own lives and to let me know how you’re doing!! Happy New Year!